Why Emotional Intelligence Is More Than a Title: A Cautionary Reflection for Women Seeking Mentors

Over four years ago, I met a woman who led an online coaching brand designed to empower women to become limitless women of wealth.
She presents herself as an Emotional Intelligence Coach and spiritual mentor for women.
She has a public brand that spoke of depth, embodiment, and feminine power.

Privately, she shared stories of childhood trauma, abandonment, divorce, addiction and betrayal that moved me to compassion and connection.
I looked up to her. I saw her as wise, kind, intelligent, beautiful inside and out.

I saw her as a mentor. I let her influence me.

But what began as an inspiring connection slowly unraveled into projection, obsession, and emotional instability that revealed the vast chasm between her public brand and her private embodiment.

Earlier this year, a minor app communication glitch, one unreplied message that I had in fact answered, triggered an avalanche of verbal attacks on my weight, my brand, and my marriage, accusations of using her for resources, and abusive messages over a period of several days.
I didn’t respond except to tell her that I had heard her messages of hatred loud and clear and that I would appreciate it if she would not contact me again. I then blocked her emails and all social media contact to protect my space. But that didn’t stop her. She created new social media accounts then messaged me again to tell me that she was trying to block me. 

I didn’t respond. I didn’t react. I chose stillness. I observed.
And in that space, I saw everything clearly.

What I saw was a woman spiraling in projection, rage, and unresolved pain—while promoting herself as a coach for emotional regulation and intelligence. That’s when it clicked: this is not just a personal betrayal. This is a red flag for any woman considering working with her.

This woman, who claims to know emotional regulation, was completely unregulated.
This woman, who falsely brands herself as having 25 years experience as a healer & business strategist to 8+ online entrepreneurs, was projecting her own unhealed wounds.

There had been earlier signs—when she sent me vicious voice notes slandering the very women we had both invested in. Women we admired. I suggested she stop following them if she felt triggered. She refused. She was obsessed with hating them, but clearly, she was subconsciously captivated by them too.

This woman, who guides women through trauma clearly hasn’t healed her own trauma, could have re-traumatized someone if they had been in a fragile state.

Thankfully, I was not.
I was strong enough to witness the dissonance, the projection, the volatility—and walk away without engaging.
But what if I hadn’t been? What if I had just come out of a toxic relationship?
What if I had invested in her to lead me through my pain?

That’s why this post exists.

Yes—and no.

Yes, because her trauma is not mine to expose in detail.
Sharing specifics about her past, her partners, or her pain—no matter how true—can cross a line of ethical storytelling.
I don’t need to give you all the details to make my point.

And no, because understanding someone’s emotional history helps others make sense of the patterns they display.
Context matters—especially when those patterns show up in mentorship.
But I now believe those insights can be offered without naming or shaming.

So, I’ve removed the details. I’ve removed her name. And I’ve replaced outrage with discernment.

Because this is not about punishment.
This is about protection.
For you. For the women entering the coaching space.
And for myself.

I made this decision not from impulse, but from leadership.

• I chose not to use her name because my energy and my peace matter more than naming someone to prove a point.

• I chose to publish this blog because my silence would have allowed her to continue marketing herself to vulnerable women without consequence.

• I chose to write this from calm, grounded reflection one month after the event—not rage—because I serve as the Creator of CEO GODDESS, a brand rooted in embodiment, integrity, and elite feminine power.

I don’t teach through theory. I teach through experience.
And this experience reaffirmed something deep within me:
The power of the regulated woman is unshakable.